i saw an old friend of mine on getting off the trolly i was about to get onto... she didnt see me. my first thought was to call out to her, because i miss her. but then i thought about that weird awkward moment of seeing someone for a split second that you havnt seen for a long long time. its not fun to make small talk with someone you really miss. i decided to let it go, and just not think about her, but i got on the trolly and must have sat right where she had been sitting... she has a particular smell about her, that is some sort of green russsian cure all. its like sweet herbs... i kept trying to think of other things, but i kept going back to all the times she had slept on my couch, and the nights we spent drinking limoncello and and honey liquor. that smell stayed with me all day, and when i got home i could still smell it on my hands. its hard to say goodbye to someone youve had so much fun with, especially when you dont remember why you said goodbye, and even more so when you know you are too stubborn to make the first move in remedying whatever it was that happened. she told me once she always pushes her closest friends away, and i had sworn i would let that happen.... i guess we messed up.